Chores. Just the word can bring a sigh—from both kids and adults.
But what if these daily, sometimes mundane tasks are actually one of the greatest spiritual tools you have for discipling your child?
What if every dish scrubbed, every sock sorted, and every floor swept is an invitation to follow Jesus—not just in theory, but in practice, right where you live?
Jesus said:
“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45, NLT)
In today’s fast-paced, performance-driven world, it’s easy to overlook the simple, ancient power of servanthood as the heartbeat of discipleship. Yet, as we’ll see, both the Scriptures and centuries of tradition (from ancient rabbis to the early church to modern research) reveal this:
Faith is formed in the ordinary, not just the extraordinary.
1. Biblical Foundations: Servanthood in the Life and Teaching of Jesus
The Gospels are filled with moments where Jesus subverts expectations about greatness, power, and leadership:
- In John 13, He gets up from dinner, wraps a towel around His waist, and washes His disciples’ feet—a job reserved for the lowest servant in a household.
- In Mark 10:43-45, Jesus redefines leadership: “Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant… For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (NLT)
- In Matthew 23:11-12, Jesus tells His followers: “The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (NLT)
Servanthood isn’t a minor footnote in Jesus’ ministry; it’s the way of life He expects from every disciple—young and old.
Teaching Through Action
The New Testament makes clear:
Discipleship is not just about knowing what Jesus taught, but imitating how Jesus lived.
“And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1, NLT)
“All who declare that they belong to God should live their lives as Jesus did.” (1 John 2:6, NLT)
When you invite your child to serve—through chores or care for others—you invite them into the very “curriculum” of Christ Himself.
2. The Discipleship Power of Chores: Research & Modern Parenting Insights
It’s not just Scripture and tradition that affirm the value of children serving at home. Recent research supports the transformative impact of chores on character, empathy, and lifelong success.
Chores & Long-Term Success
A landmark, decades-long Harvard study led by Dr. Marty Rossmann (University of Minnesota) found that the best predictor for adult success is whether a child began doing chores by age three or four (Rossmann, 2002). Kids who regularly did chores were more likely to:
- Develop strong relationships
- Succeed in academics and their careers
- Become independent, responsible adults
But the study also found that it’s not just about “getting work done.” It’s about learning that “contributing to the family” matters—that each person has a role and responsibility that blesses others.
Chores & Empathy
A University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) study observed 32 families and found that when parents engaged children in household work, those children were more empathetic and skilled at teamwork.
Chores gave children “real-world practice in noticing and responding to the needs of others.”
Chores & Spiritual Formation
Barna Group’s research on faith formation in families found that families who involve children in acts of service—both inside and outside the home—are more likely to see those children retain their faith into adulthood (Barna, Households of Faith, 2019).
Kids who “practiced faith at home,” including through ordinary tasks, saw faith as a natural, daily part of life—not just a church activity.
“Incorporating simple, repeatable acts of service and kindness in the home is one of the most effective ways to disciple children for lifelong faith.”
— Barna, Households of Faith
Takeaway:
Chores aren’t just about life skills—they are powerful, research-backed discipleship tools.
When you give your child a dish towel or ask them to feed the dog, you’re giving them a lifelong foundation for faith, responsibility, and empathy.
3. Learning From the Rabbis: How Ancient Discipleship Worked
Discipleship Was More Than Information Transfer
In ancient Jewish tradition, discipleship wasn’t about classroom lectures or memorizing rules. Rabbis taught by modeling life, and disciples learned by doing life alongside them.
- Rabbis lived with their disciples: They shared meals, walked from town to town, and worked together.
- Disciples imitated their rabbi’s actions: If a rabbi rose to pray, his disciples followed; if he stopped to help someone, they did the same.
- Small acts were the curriculum: The everyday rhythms—helping cook, cleaning up, welcoming strangers—became lessons in humility, community, and love.
The Mishnah (Avot 1:4) records:
“Let your house be a meeting place for the wise; cover yourself in the dust of their feet, and drink in their words with thirst.”
The “dust” was literal: disciples followed their rabbi so closely that dust from his sandals would cover their own feet.
What does this mean for parents today?
Discipleship happens in proximity and practice, not just in preaching.
When your kids “follow you around the house” and join you in chores, you’re teaching them—without even trying—what servant-hearted faith looks like.
4. The Early Church and the Sacredness of Service
The first Christians were known for radical acts of service—caring for widows, orphans, the sick, and the poor.
But these habits weren’t invented by the apostles—they were passed down from the home.
Early Church Father John Chrysostom (4th century) wrote:
“With us everything should be secondary compared to our concern with children, and their upbringing in the instruction and teaching of the Lord… Form the soul of thy son aright, and all the rest will be added hereafter.”
Households were “little churches.” Every day, children saw parents and siblings serving one another—sharing food, cleaning, practicing hospitality, and caring for the least.
Hospitality, chores, and caring for needs were not “extras” but central to Christian witness.
5. Why Chores Matter Spiritually: The Theology of Mundane Service
Jesus in the Small Things
Scripture repeatedly reveals God’s delight in humble, unseen acts:
- “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.” (Luke 16:10, NLT)
- “And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded.” (Matthew 10:42, NLT)
Formation, Not Just Function
Chores are not just about keeping the house clean.
They’re about shaping the heart. When children:
- Fold towels
- Set the table
- Take out the trash
- Help a sibling with homework
- Clean up after pets
…they are learning humility, perseverance, attention to others, and teamwork—core Christian virtues.
Countercultural Character
In a world that idolizes “being served,” Christian families raise children who find joy in serving.
This stands out. Research shows that kids who regularly serve at home are less likely to struggle with entitlement, selfishness, or apathy.
The Spirit at Work in the Ordinary
Theologian Eugene Peterson calls the home “the primary place where spiritual formation happens.”
By inviting children into acts of service, you create space for the Spirit to form Christlike character in everyday life.
6. Turning Chores Into Discipleship: Practical Steps for Parents
1. Connect Chores to Jesus’ Example
Start by reframing chores not as punishment or duty, but as the way of Jesus.
Say:
“Jesus did things no one else wanted to do. When we serve—especially in small ways—we’re following Him.”
2. Work Side-by-Side
Don’t just assign chores; do them together.
Invite your child to fold towels with you. Wash dishes together after dinner. Sweep the porch as a team.
These moments create space for conversation, laughter, and “teachable moments” about humility, teamwork, and kindness.
Research Insight:
Joint chores, rather than solitary ones, are linked to higher emotional intelligence and parent-child connection (Coppens et al., Developmental Psychology, 2014).
3. Catch Them Serving—And Name It
When your child helps a sibling, clears a plate, or notices a mess and cleans it, thank them specifically.
Say:
“I saw how you helped your brother with his homework. That’s what it means to love like Jesus.”
Naming the good builds identity:
“You’re someone who serves others well.”
4. Tell Stories of Service
Share stories (from Scripture, family history, or modern life) of people who served in small, unseen ways.
- The boy who shared his lunch with Jesus (John 6)
- Mother Teresa’s humble daily acts
- Times you saw God’s love in someone doing a simple task for you
This inspires imagination: “I can be a hero for God—in the kitchen, at the table, everywhere.”
5. Start the Secret Servant Challenge (Family Activity)
Here’s a practical, engaging way to make chores a heart habit, not just a to-do list.
The Secret Servant Challenge: Making Service Fun and Formative
How It Works:
- Draw Names:
Each week, every family member draws a name from a bowl. - Secret Service:
Your “mission” is to serve that person during the week—by quietly doing a chore for them, encouraging them, or helping without being asked.
The key: No one seeks credit or recognition. - Reveal and Celebrate:
At the end of the week, gather at dinner and try to guess who your secret servant was.
Share stories of what you noticed and how it made you feel.
Why It Works (Biblical and Psychological Insights):
- Anonymity = Humility
Jesus said, “But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.” (Matthew 6:3, NLT)
Serving without applause forms humility. - Gamifies Service
Kids love mystery and play. Making service a “game” increases participation and fun. - Positive Reinforcement
By celebrating acts of service, you’re rewarding the behavior you want to see more of. - Empathy and Observation
To serve someone well, kids must pay attention: What would bless them? What chore do they dislike?
This builds empathy—a trait tightly linked to Christlike character (Barna, 2019).
Tips for Success
- Keep it lighthearted. If a child forgets, no shame—just encourage them to try next week.
- Rotate the activity so everyone gets a chance to serve and be served.
- Add variety: Sometimes, the challenge can be outside the home (e.g., serve a neighbor, clean up the yard for a grandparent).
7. Troubleshooting: What If My Kids Resist Chores?
Let’s be honest: No method is “magic.” Kids will sometimes resist, complain, or slack off. Here are some practical, research-based tips:
1. Start Early, But It’s Never Too Late
Kids who start young (even toddlers can “help”) tend to resist less as they grow.
But research shows even teens can grow in empathy and responsibility with new routines.
2. Explain the Why
Kids are more likely to cooperate when they understand the purpose.
Share stories of how Jesus served, and how small tasks build trust and teamwork.
3. Share the Load
Avoid making chores a “punishment” for one child. Rotate tasks and serve together when possible.
4. Make It Relational, Not Transactional
Praise effort, not just results. Use chore time to connect, talk, and even pray.
5. Be Patient and Persistent
Character is built over months and years. Celebrate progress, not perfection.
8. Advanced Level: Expanding the Vision Beyond the Home
Serving as a Family
Research from Fuller Youth Institute’s “Sticky Faith” project found that families who serve together outside the home—at church, in the community, on mission trips—have children who are more likely to retain faith into adulthood.
Ways to build on the home model:
- Volunteer at church together (setting up chairs, cleaning, greeting)
- Serve at a soup kitchen or food pantry as a family
- Make care packages for neighbors in need
- Practice hospitality (invite someone over, let your kids help prepare and serve)
Raising Kingdom-Minded Kids
Chores are a training ground for a bigger purpose—raising children who “seek first the Kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33).
The habits of service and humility that start with sweeping floors can one day move mountains.
9. Encouragement for Parents: Your Example Matters Most
You don’t need to be a perfect housekeeper or a Pinterest parent.
What your kids will remember most isn’t how spotless the floors were, but whether you served with joy, humility, and a willing heart.
Jesus’ own disciples argued about who was greatest—right up until the Last Supper!
He responded not with a lecture, but by taking a towel and washing their feet.
You are discipling your child every time you:
- Invite them to serve, not just demand it
- Thank them for the smallest effort
- Serve them when they are tired or sad
- Apologize when you get frustrated
- Choose humility over hurry
You are their rabbi, their model of faith in the real world.
Conclusion: Holy Work in Everyday Hands
Chores are not just chores. They are holy invitations.
Every dish washed, every floor swept, every bed made with love is a step on the path of following Jesus.
Your home can be a living classroom—where kids learn that serving is not what we do when we “have to,”
But who we become when we follow the One who served us all.
This week, start small. Try the Secret Servant Challenge. Tell a story about Jesus serving. Thank your child for a job well done.
And remember:
You’re not just raising helpers.
You’re raising Christlike servants—kids who will carry faith and humility into a world desperate for both.
“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’” (Matthew 25:40, NLT)
You are doing holy work.
Keep going, parent-disciple-maker.
Jesus is right there beside you—in the kitchen, in the laundry room, and in every act of love.
Quick Action Plan for Parents
- Reframe chores as acts of Christlike service.
- Start or restart chores together — make it relational.
- Try the Secret Servant Challenge (download cards below).
- Tell your child a story about Jesus or someone you know serving humbly.
- Celebrate any act of service — big or small.
- Pray together: “Jesus, make us a serving family.”
